I LOVE YOU

That was for you.
Now you're happy?
B
A
B
Y

"Handle with Care" (the butchered version)

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/618408/jewish/Handle-With-Care.htm

The Alter Rebbe.....

talks about me....
Ya hoo!
Rosho V'tov loy -
I guess,
I mean I bet there is some good hidden deep down.

Tzaddik Gomur?

When Reb Chiya wished to ascend to the heichal of Rebi Shimon Bar Yochai, he heard a voice come out and say:

"Whichever of you, before coming here, have converted the darkness of the world to light (holiness), and have transformed the bitter taste of their animal soul and evil inclination to sweetness (holiness).... - only those may enter."

I think 'transformed' is the key word here; to gain the 'Tzaddik Gomur/V'tov loi' status.

SACRIFICES

T'is all about Sacrifices.
Yep, all about Sacrifices.
Makes you feel closer to Hashem.
Does it really?
Well, dumbell, it should.
Hmph.
The sacrifices also atone for our sins.
It is a Yid's way of asking for forgiveness from HaShem.

Sacrifices.
All different kinds.
A name for each there is.
Special occasions calls for special Sacrifices.
Animal Sacrifices or meal-offerings.
What would a human Sacrifice be called?

A human Sacrifice?
Yep, for t'is all about Sacrifices.
It's all about being close to Hashem...

Sacrifice: the surrender, giving up, of something desirable for the sake of something higher.

MY OATH TO YOU...

When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.

When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried.....I will give you hope.

When you are confused.....I will help you cope.

And when you are lost....And can't see the light, I shall be
your beacon.....Shining ever so bright.

This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?.....Because you're my friend.

Signed: G-D

Zo Modne...

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli judge has ordered the country's prison authority to pay an inmate over $1,000 in compensation after he complained of having to share a cell with cockroaches.

Mordechai Yehudai filed a lawsuit complaining of poor hygiene, a lack of fresh air, broken windows and inmates who smoke in a handful of cells, a spokeswoman for the Israel Prisons Service said

"The Prisons Service mistreated the plaintiff in a number of ways, including ... broken windows, cockroaches as well as incarceration with smokers," judge Irit Cohen wrote in her verdict, according to newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth.

The spokeswoman said the inmate's cell would be cleaned up. Yehudai has been held in three different prisons and has had complaints about conditions in all of them.

"Prisoners have the right to sue us whenever they see fit and we comply with the court's rulings," she said.

I am a..

Shoyte!

A shoyte!

And noch whatta shoyte!

Chalav yisroel

♫ The Alter Rebbe responded that the s.i.l. unwittingly consumed chalav akum, which is only an issur d'rabonon, yet it had such a strong effect on him that it caused him to doubt his faith.

But...

"Why does the house look so clean?"
"Because da cleaning lady ain't comin' anymore".
Ha!

Well, I do a way better job than the cleaning lady anyway.
(I hope she doesn't read English).
I clean better, I tidy up better etc...
And I'm so much less expensive!
BUT - what a waste of my time and talents.
Don't you think?

Emunah - pshuta.

What is happening now -
is the best thing that could be happening.
If anything better could have happened -
it would have happened.

Da Teeth.

After all is said and done, mamosh done.

The Dentist will finally be able to afford a Yacht.
The Periodontist a cruise with his family.
The Endodontist, wouldn't put it past him if he bought half of Iran.
And me, little me besides all the pain and more pain, maybe a free mileage ticket (via the credit card).

Being drugged, gives me the feeling like I'm drugged or something.

Narish...kinda...but a little funny too.

http://s222.photobucket.com/albums/dd281/thegodol15/?action=view&current=96b82001.flv

Oysh.

You are an idiot if you hope.
You are crazy if you dream.
You are a fool if you believe.
You are a nutcase for trusting.
Dumbbell!!

Since Hashem gave us a brain, why did He need to give us a Torah?

L'Chayim
Yanki Tauber.

While reason is a very powerful tool, there is something in the human being that is even more powerful - desire, that creates an ulterior motive which causes one to reason in a particular direction.

When we want something badly, desperately enough, we grab our brain, twist its arm behind its back, and compel it to manufacture such gobilydoop that anyone looking at us from the distance of a generation or a culture away will exclaim, "What happened to that person? Did his brain leak out of his head?". Of course, our brain is right there inside our head. It's even working overtime. It's just that it's running in reverse. Instead of figuring out the truth, it's figuring out how to build a logical foundation for what we want should be the truth.

That is why Hashem gave us the Torah --- a set of truths.
To enable us to know when our brain is running backwards. If the end result of our reasoning and logicizing doesn't mesh with the divine truths in the Torah, then we are doing something wrong.

MAAMOR - (PART FOUR)

V'hinei, this is the obligation of the person that he should think about his Tachlis, for why Hashem created him. (You realize that I'm translating, hence the perfect English :))
And when the person sees that his whole life is epes nisht azoi, his behaviour is not the way it is supposed to be. Whether it is intellectually, or midos wise or his conduct is opposite of how it is supposed to be. That he is occupied with his Gashmiusdika and corporeal needs. And re spiritual matters he thinks very little of. Such behaviour brings the person to become 'fargrebt'. So if the person thinks about it with a clear mind, it will bring about a deep desire in him to do Teshuva and to (meshana zayn) change his ways, to conduct himself B'darkei Hatora V'hamitzva B'yiras Shomayim.
And this is then the meaning of,
"Soif Dovor, Hakol Nishma, Es Ho-elokim Yorai, (?) V'es Mitzvoisov Shmor, Ki Ze Kol Ho-odom."
This (our Torah and Mitzvos) is the ikur reason for Hahsem's uniting the Neshomo Ruchnius and the Guf Gashmi . Which is a unification of total opposites.

Oy , this is pretty hard for me. Hope you are following, because I can't think of making it into proper language....k shhhh, no talking in the middle.
Okay, so ya, total opposites...

It is a union of the very highest and the very lowest. Ochor V'kodom. ( not sure how to pronounce). Like it's written,"Ochor Vakodom Tzartoni", - "Of the last (lowest of levels) and the first (highest of levels) You have formed me."

Ochor is the lowest of the lowest levels, which is the guf of the person, for it is even lower than the guf of animals. In regards to the bodies of animals the chazal say that, "they were created in a whole and complete state." Whereas regarding the man's body it says, "Your eyes saw a shapeless mass."
And Kedem refers to the highest of highest, the Neshomo.
Hashem created the person from the highest level in ruchnius and the lowest level of chumrius(corporeal), which chumrious is more 'greber' (material) than gashmius.
Therefore we see that if ch'vs a person is so 'grob' he may behave more worse than a chaya ro'o. I already said,no commenting on the english.
And on the other hand the person has in him neshomo 'talents' which enables him to reach to the highest ruchnius'dika levels.
And how do we get to these lofty levels?? BY LEARNING TORAH AND DOING MITZVOS WITH YIRAS SHOMAYIM.
This is what it means,
Sof Dovor Hakol Nishma, that the person is a baal sechel, understands and hears how the existence of all creations declares/proclaims - Es Ho-elokim Yorai, fear Hashem and keep His mitzvos.

The end.


oh so the kitzur.

Hashem created man as a composition of ultimate chumrius and ultimate ruchnius.
Therefore man has chumri desires and can also attain the hightest levels of ruchnius thru shmiras Hatorah and Mitzvos with Yiras Shomayim.

MAAMOR (PART THREE)

....Malchus is Speech.

The inyan of Dibur is only for another person, this is the difference of thought and speech. Machshovo is for one self and Dibur is for another. (Since kingship is not for oneself but for ruling over another, hence Malchus - Dibur). Speech compared to thought is an illumination, But this illumination comes from a very high source.
The inyan in this is, that in every G-dly understanding, it's to bring him to Avodas Hashem. Which is also true regarding the general concept that all the creations is only a glimmer of G-dliness.
The worlds and creations were created with one word, like we say, "Boruch She-omar V'hoyo Ho-oilom.
And like the Mishna says, B'asoro Ma-amoros Nivra Ha-oilom, V'haloi B'maamar Echod Yochol L'hiborois, which is actually so, Hashem did create with one Maamar , the Maamor of B'reishis and the other nine are only an extension of that first one.
Testing Testing one two three. Just making sure that you are still reading this.
One should also be misbonen, ponder, how you are so not worth much and how trivial you are in relation to the whole universe, and high worlds etc...Yet,yet the person, you, is the ultimate reason for the creation of all the worlds! And from the day and hour that you were created, the malochim and Sfiros wait for your Torah learning !! Woah, huh?
So when the person considers the fact that he is the tachlis of everything that hashem created, it is all for him, like the mishna says Kol Echod V'echod Chayov Lomar Bishvili Nivra Ha-olam, then he will apply himself diligently to learning Torah and fulfilling the mitzvos.

Okay so, B'isvili Nivra Ha-olam, Olam - Helem, concealment.
Our bodies hide our Neshomo. We see the guf but not the Neshomo.
So this is the meaning of the Mishna.
The person says for me was created the (world) 'concealment' that through my learning Torah and doing Mitzvos the concealment will be removed and the Ohr of Hashem will be revealed!

Summary.
Sifiras Hamlchus is dibbur, which is for someone else.
B' 10 Maamoros Nivra Ha-olam.
A person is the reason for creation, and the Chayos of all the worlds is dependent on his Torah and Mitzvos.

Today was Sheina's Birthday (Article)

Today was Sheina's birthday.

This morning before she went off to school, I said to her:

"Sheina, today is your birthday, you are thirteen years old."

She showed me thirteen in ASL (American Sign Language).

"Look, we got you a chocolate birthday cake, with flowers and cream, just the kind you so enjoy.

She displayed excitement.

"You will take it to school and give a piece to Chris” (her autistic friend). She smiled.

“And a piece to Mr. Parker, (the teacher) to Jovanni, (her aid) to Maria (her shadow) and everyone else in the class.”

She nodded.

She was happy.

That was the point.

And off she went to her special school.

I sat down, said some extra Prayers for her and

I wondered if she even comprehended what a birthday is,

Besides that you get to enjoy some gooey cake.

Then I went to my room, closed the door and cried.

I cried -

for Sheina is different.

Once a year, when I take the day to think and reflect on the past, I cry.

I deserve this luxury, don't I?

I cry because at age thirteen Sheina still needs to be dressed, is still using diapers. I am still feeding her and

washing her,

And it is really truly hard!

My eyes still wet, I remembered the conversation I had with my new friend, Sara, who asked me to tell her about the challenges of living with a special needs child.

Without thinking I said to her,

"Why would you ask me to tell you about the challenges of living with a special needs child. Go ask someone who has challenges...."

(I was thinking of the story, of a man who asked the Baal Shem Tov how it is possible to fulfill the requirement to bless G-d for the bad things no less than for the good ones, and to accept them with joy to boot.

The Baal Shem Tov told him to go and pose the very same question to his student, Reb Zushe of Anipoli and he would receive an answer.

Upon finding Reb Zushe the man observed more suffering and hardship than he had ever seen. Reb Zusha was a frightful pauper, with never enough to eat in his home.

His family was beset with all sorts of afflictions and illnesses, yet he remained good-humored and cheerful.

When the man explained the purpose of his visit and awaited the answer, Reb Zushe, with a puzzled look replied "I think there must be a mistake.How would I know? The Rebbe should have sent you to someone who has experienced suffering.")

Oh, now don't get me wrong. I most definitely have challenges, struggles, but not necessarily more from my special child.

I always say, there are "G-d given problems" and, although everything is from G-d, there are "Man-made problems" struggles, confrontations and issues that we create.

Giving birth to a "challenged" child is a "G-d given problem" those problems we just take. We just accept without calculations. What else can we do?

Sheina was just given to us. She is different, not the typical child we are used to. But her soul is perfect; nothing can mar it. We have nothing to add.

When we give birth to a “normal” child, G-d says, "Here, take this thing and mold him/her into a mentch! Do the best you can with this lump, shape him, guide him etc."

And we try so hard, we never know if we are doing the right thing, we never know how our efforts or decisions will affect this child. What worked for one will not necessarily work for the other. We worry and worry (as if that helps).

We pray and we pray. And then we pray some more.

We wish for the perfect results. Then if, heaven protect us, the child doesn't "turn out" as we planned it, doesn't follow our roadmap, goes off the beaten path... then, oh woah, we are devastated! We are ashamed, we feel like we failed.

Now, that is a challenge.

Sheina, on the other hand, came to me molded already. It was nurturing she needed. G-d said, "Here is this thing, take her home and take extra good care of her, for she is special."

So, yes, though she is now thirteen I still need to wash her, feed her, diaper her,

but I don't have any of the worries (or shtick) from her that I’ve had from my other teenagers. I’m not concerned that she will mix with bad friends or stay out late. I don't have the worry that she will go off the beaten path.

Sheina is non-verbal,her limited communication delivered

via sign-language.

There will be no chutzpa coming out of her mouth, no defiance, no talking back. Her soul is pure.

When we are out in the public, yes she will do embarrassing things, make weird noises and attract attention. Yet the shame I have is nothing compared to the shame and deep pain I experience when my other "challenges" (a.k.a. children) choose to disregard or confront me.

That is something to cry about.

So I wiped my tears,

Came out of my room, and continued to live.

For these are the regular ups and downs of our lives.

It is all part of Tzaar Gidul Bonim,

The pain and anguish that comes with raising children.

As I thought about it I wondered,

Perhaps these are MY GROWING pains...

So if you ask me, what are my challenges living with a special needs child?

I will ask you what are your challenges living your “normal” life? Are they really any less?

We attempted to give Sheina an especially joyous day.

She partied with lots of her favorite foods.

We Sang Happy Birthday to her,

Put extra coins in the Charity box,

Said some Torah Passages.

Her volunteer came and brought her new nail polish, a rainbow of colors.

She got a balloon and two new sets of memory games.

Sheina was happy. And so was I.

Thank G-d.